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corporationsarepeople:

This is gold. Every time I see it. Pure gold.

corporationsarepeople:

This is gold. Every time I see it. Pure gold.

(via perfectionerd)

Source: funnyandhilarious
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thatguythatdoesthingsandstuff:

ollivander:

frequencyratios:

Shoutouts to all the bisexual people whose parents are secretly hoping they’ll settle down in a heterosexual relationship and get married and have biological children.

shoutout to the pan people who have no idea how to even come out to their parents

Shoutout to all the asexual people with parents that think they’re just not ready for sex yet.

(via hashtagbossbitch)

Source: frequencyratios
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thatfunnyblog:

killed the whole game tbh

(via perfectionerd)

Source: pinklotusflowers
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dajo42:

literally like. i’m not ~~~attracted to~~~ my friends but. they’re all attractive. like, wow. fuck. i am surrounded by hot people. i hope other people see how hot my friends are. i hope they see us in a group and are like “holy shit. so many hot people. hot as stars. that’s less of a clique and more of a constellation”

(via satanicat666)

Source: dajo42
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  • me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
  • classmate: wait, what's polyamory?
  • me: well, it's when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
  • professor: *overhears from front of class*
  • professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
  • me: *defensively* um, actually, no it's--
  • professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • me: ....
  • professor: it should be polyerosy
Source: rosetyler-in-the-impala
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sp0rty:

sageruto:

sheldon just suggested that some people may be born without the disposition for sexual attraction and a laugh tracked played ????????????????????????????? stop this

make big bang theory illegal right now effective immediately

(via perfectmisanthropistsheaven)

Source: sageruto
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bitchyteen:

everyone has that one bra that makes everything okay

(via beautifulsurvival)

Source: deathreats
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riddlersgammon:

that time of year is approaching

scary lawn decorations

terrifying tv programs

people in costumes going door to door

election season

(via gerardlovesmorrissey)

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kingcheddarxvii:

WHAT did they find in that pool

kingcheddarxvii:

WHAT did they find in that pool

(via kevilafire)

Source: lowfraid
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putins-boyfriend:

happy-avocado:

aye-lemme-whisper-in-yo-ear:

kushdrinker:

have u ever tried to look cool in front of ur friends and u image

i have been laughing at this for 10 minutes straight. 

both his pants and underwear came off how did he even manage

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(via kevilafire)

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leo-arcana:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employeesimage definitely image do notimage get paidimage enoughimage forimage this image shitimage they are sick of your nonsenseimage

the last guy wasn’t even phased omg

(via mermaids-and-dastardly-deeds)

Source: jetblueivy
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fruitcrocs:

when a teacher asks you if you understand the work and you don’t 

image

*gets 0 on the test*

image

(via bassclarinetprincess)

Source: fruitcrocs
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wentzguyliner:

Emo Problem #826-
When the wind blows your side bangs back, and you see everyone you hate, with both eyes

(via hashtagbossbitch)

Source: wentzguyliner